What's The Name of That Port?

I’m getting a port this week. There are many sorts of ports … ships dock at a port; one can drink a port wine; computers have ports to connect to other devices; a port is the left side of a ship—and who-knows-what-else. But none of these will be the sort of port I will acquire.

There's this port--ooooh, it's Monaco:



Or this port--as in computer:



Or even this port--as in wine:





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But, noooo, Linda has to be different. I am getting what is more technically called a portacath … or, as mentioned—yep, a port.

Now, what does one do with a port, you ask? I know you asked because I could hear you. Well, in the last few weeks I’ve been dealt some challenging news, as I’ve indicated in a few other blog posts. My port will facilitate the solution to these challenges--my battle to rid the ol' bod of lymphoma.



A port is a device implanted in the upper chest, just below the left collar bone, which then connects to the veins. This system is now more-often-than-not used in place of repeated sticks in the veins to administer chemotherapy. As it was explained to me, that continual use of the veins can compromise them, even cause a blow-out of sorts if the veins aren’t strong enough for repeated use. This creates its own set of issues, not even considering the problems which would arise in relation to the chemotherapy and the chemo’s planned course of action to rid the body of the bad cells.

But Frederick Memorial Hospital--right here in my own backyard, I might add, the same hospital where I am having my port put in place--explains it so much better than I have. The port description is at the bottom of the page, and an entire description of the chemo process is given for anyone who really wants to know.

So … I get my very own port in my very own body on Thursday. It’ll be in-and-out surgery at the hospital, done by my now-trusted general surgeon who removed for biopsy the biggest and baddest nasty lymph node to-date. I also want to add that my now-much-trusted oncologist is at the helm of all these processes. These are words and processes and types of doctors I never would've expected to be a part of my natural conversation ... but life's an ongoing adventure, isn't it?

I'm told that some folks name their ports, since they do for a time become a part of their body, and the overall process to good health. After all, something like that should be considered, and treated like, a real friend, don’t you think? And most of us are close to, and even intimate with, our friends. We don’t usually call our friends, “Hey, you,” or, in this case, “That port in me.”

No, I do think I should name my port. What do you think? How about a Name-A-Port contest ... just cuz? Got any good ideas? Many of you know me well enough to be aware of my quirky, off-beat sense of humor. Any thoughts on good port names?

Only one major qualifier here from my end on this naming thing … MY port will be a girl. End of discussion….